


Hop to it

by TimidTurnip



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Easter, Easter Egg Hunt, Easter Eggs, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Peter Parker, Shrewd Wade Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimidTurnip/pseuds/TimidTurnip
Summary: There’s a brightly colored egg on Peter’s pillow.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 144





	Hop to it

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not late am I? What do you mean Easter was a week ago? 
> 
> Thanks to JolinarJackson for the beta and Voidbean for cheering me on even though Easter was done.

On the pillow next to his head sits an egg brightly colored pink and green. Peter stares at it for a solid ten minutes as he ponders if he’s still dreaming. When he finally bothers to reach out and grab it, he finds it is absolutely solid. He pinches his cheek hard, the pain confirming that he is very much in the land of the awake.

Yet the egg remains.

Where did it come from? 

Peter sits up, the sheets pooling around his waist. He rolls the egg around in his palm. It’s definitely a real egg, painted up in the spirit of the holiday. He leans over his bed to tap the egg against his nightstand, cracks blooming across the shell. A second tap has the contents leaking out onto the floor; raw egg,  _ perfect _ . Peter cradles the egg in his hand trying to keep the rest of its insides from making a mess as he jumps out of bed. He shuffles quickly to the kitchen and tosses the egg into the trash. 

As he washes his hands, he spies another egg hiding behind his toaster. Which,  _ how?  _

He picks up the egg with his wet hands and watches it slip between his fingers in disbelief and crack. Yolk spreads out across the counter making a mess the single piece of paper towel he has left won’t be able to handle. 

He turns away from the wreckage to turn on the coffee machine, not ready to deal with how his morning is unfolding. He peels back the lid of his coffee grounds and stares down in confusion at the red and orange lump hiding away inside. There are googly eyes attached to this one, looking just as wild as Peter feels. 

Peter grabs a bowl and gently places the egg down inside of it. There are two more eggs nestled in with the mugs. Peter almost steps on one on the way to the couch and luckily avoids sitting on the one hiding in the cushions. There is one sitting next to his laptop, a devilish grin etched onto it that makes Peter question if the egg knows what he was searching the night before. 

While sitting on the couch, drinking coffee in hopes it will help him make sense of this situation, he spies out eight more eggs hiding around the room. He refuses to get up and play along.

Really. 

He grabs them all when he gets up for a second cup and only because he has to get up anyways. Cup in hand, he searches the rest of his apartment, hoping he doesn’t miss any in fear of how that will smell in a week's time. 

Feeling confident that he’s managed to find them all, he heads off to have a shower before heading out for the day. There is a purple monstrosity of an egg sitting behind his shampoo. It rolls out from its spot when he grabs the bottle, cracking. Peter breaks the yolk with his toe, disgusted at the sensation and weirdly captivated by it at the same time. The water washes the remnants away, swirling around the drain before disappearing. 

Peter just wants to understand what is happening. He dries off quickly. No longer trusting that he managed to find them all, he moves through his apartment with caution. He finds one tucked into his underwear drawer, horrified that someone saw the worn out pairs he still keeps around. 

He doesn’t even know who to accuse of doing all this. 

No one has a key to his apartment. No one can sneak around without setting off his spider-sense. 

It hits Peter that someone was inside his apartment while he  _ slept _ .

He feels so  _ violated _ .

They could have done anything they wanted and yet all they did was hide eggs everywhere. Not even chocolate eggs like you would actually do on Easter. What is Peter supposed to do with over two dozen eggs? Omlettes for breakfast for the next week? It’s such a strange gift. 

He stares down at the face of the egg he found under his bed, its soulless eyes staring right back. 

“Who are you?” Peter asks, giving the egg a small shake. He points a finger down accusatory at it. “Who sent you, huh? Who do you work for?”

The egg is tight lipped, Peter’s going to need to resort to drastic measures if he’s going to get to the bottom of this. Peter only knows one man that could tackle such a job. One man he can trust.

He grabs his phone and calls up Wade W. Winston.

He breathes out a sigh of relief when Wade answers, not having realized just how distressed he had gotten over the whole situation. 

“Spidey, you’re up!” Wade says in lieu of a greeting. 

“Of course I’m awake.”

“I thought spiders were nocturnal?”

“I’m not a real spider, Wade.” Peter chuckles, he already feels calmer just hearing Wade’s voice.

The line goes quiet.

“Wade?” 

“Was just reevaluating some things. So my chances of being eaten after sex are low?”

“It’s the females that do that Wade.”

“And what are my chances on the other thing?”

Peter closes his eyes and tries his best not to think about what Wade just asked. He’s not ready to deal with that. “So I need your help with something, my place got broken into last night?”

“Last night? I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“What do  _ you  _ mean by that?” Wade parrots back.

Peter pulls the phone away from his face and stares down at it like he can convince it to put a stop to Wade’s behavior. There isn’t anything that can accomplish that feat. 

Peter’s fingers twitch and he brings the phone back up to his ear. He cautiously asks, “Do you know something?”

Wade sings songs, “Maybe, maybe not. Do you want my help or not?”

It’s not like Peter can continue to live here if he doesn’t figure things out. What if the person who left the eggs knew he was Spider-Man? “I’m giving you my home address,  _ please  _ don’t abuse this information.”

There’s a squeal from Wade that threatens to break Peter’s eardrum, he pulls the phone away to save himself. He rattles off his address when Wade calms down, hanging up so he can pull his suit on. He’s not ready for Wade to see his face, to know that part of him. 

He just manages to pull his mask over his face when there is a knock on the window. Wade doesn’t even wait for Peter to answer before he’s prying it open.

Peter scoffs as he turns around to face the window. “I have a door you know.”

“Not as dramatic!” Wade tosses a handful of colored confetti into the air. Peter eyes it with disdain as it floats down to the floor. 

He’s not letting Wade leave without picking up every small piece of it.

Wade goes to toss another handful but Peter rushes over and clamps a hand down on his hand to stop him. 

“Don’t you dare,” Peter warns.

“Gotta make my mark, Spidey-babe.” Wade says, tilting his head to the side making the bunny ears he’s wearing flop. 

Peter blinks, pulling back enough to look Wade over. The man is wearing a full bunny costume. One that looks like it was recently dyed red. A pair of equally red bunny ears on top of his head, he’s not wearing his mask for once. He’s holding an Easter basket filled with eggs, ones that look suspiciously like the ones that were hidden around Peter’s apartment.

Peter narrows his eyes. “You know, you sure did get here awfully fast.”

“Of course! I was in the area!” Wade says cheerfully. 

Peter licks his lips nervously, scared to ask his next question. He had  _ trusted  _ Wade. “Are you the one that broke into my apartment?”

“I don’t think the Easter Bunny breaks into people’s places, silly. He has a standing invitation this time of year. Now if it had happened on St.Patrick's day you could consider it a felony. Bunny has no place entering people’s homes when it’s not his holiday.”

“But you’re not the Easter Bunny, Wade.” Peter deadpans. 

Wade’s shoulders sag in on themselves. “I thought I made a pretty cute bunny.”

“How’d you even find out my address? Don’t tell me I’m listed in the phone book.”

Wade scoffs, “Nobody uses a phonebook anymore.”

Realization hits Peter. “Did you see my face?”

Wade looks guilty for the first time since he showed up. “I thought you would sleep in your mask, I honestly didn’t mean to peek.”

Peter’s voice goes up an octave he’s never heard out of himself. “ _ You saw my face?! _ ”

“Maybe just a tiny bit?” Wade pinches his fingers close together as if to illustrate the point. 

“How  _ could  _ you?” 

“I just wanted you to have a hoppy Easter, you’ve been so  _ down  _ lately.” Wade backs away, moving slowly towards the window.

“And you thought to yourself I could really do with some raw egg bombs hidden around my apartment?”

“I was supposed to cook them?”

“They’re supposed to be  _ chocolate _ ,” Peter shouts as he grabs an egg from the basket Wade holds and tosses it at the wall. They both watch in horror as yolk drips down the wall.

Wade turns back to Peter looking dangerously happy. Peter recognizes that glint in his eye for what it is.

“Wade, no. Put the basket down.” Peter warns, holding up his hands in defense.

Frozen in place, Peter watches in dread as Wade slowly takes one of the eggs from the basket. Wade windes his arm back and Peter dives out of the way. The egg splats against the wall behind Peter. To close for comfort.

Peter grabs at the bowl full of eggs on his counter just as he manages to avoid another egg. He lets loose with a war cry that will negate all the brownie points he’s earned with his neighbours over the last few months. He retaliates without hesitation, colored bombs sailing through the air. 

He dodges to the right, laughing as Wade misses him yet again. The force of the eggs knocks the magnets off his fridge. Peter empties his bowl in record time, laughing when he manages to hit Wade several times forcing him to dive behind the couch. 

There is egg  _ everywhere _ .

Wade managed to hit Peter twice, bits of shell is stuck into the fabric of his suit.

“Well, we really scrambled my apartment.”

“It’s like an eggs-plosion went off in here.” Wade snickers.

“I’m still mad.” 

“Why are you so angry? I’ve been here loads of times.”

“You’ve  _ what _ ?” Peter hollers. “How did you find out where I live?”

Wade shrugs his shoulders. “You’re not that sneaky.”

“You shouldn’t have been following me!”

“You’re the one that decided to run off with broken ribs after that run in with Tombstone, I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. I was being responsible for once following you home!”

“You’ve known where I lived for _ six months? _ ” Peter buries his face in his hands and groans. This is it, his life is over. “How many times have you been here?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t go all Edward and watch you sleep or anything. I only stopped by because there isn’t anywhere that will let me use their washroom in the neighbourhood.” 

“You’re the reason my toilet has been clogged up! So many things make sense now. I thought I was losing my mind when things wouldn’t be where I remembered putting them.” 

Wade has the decency to look sheepish. It’s more than Peter can process in such a short amount of time. He stares down at the egg on his suit, it’s already soaked through and feels disgusting against his skin. 

“I’m going for a shower and you’re going to clean this place up while I do.” Peter turns and stalks off to the bathroom in a huff. He slams the door behind him and leans against the bathroom sink still not over the fact that Wade has seen his face. Is he going to expect Peter to not wear his mask around him now? 

Peter is not ready for that, not at all.

Everyone always tells Peter that he is like an open book, his face easy to read. Wade will take one look at Peter’s face and he’ll just  _ know _ .

Peter pulls his mask off and tosses it down to the floor. His reflection stares back at him, blush high on his cheeks. So obvious. 

He quickly turns away from the mirror to shed the rest of his suit. He climbs into the shower for the second time that day. He’s forced into a shorter shower than he would like, the hot water quitting on him part way through. Even then he lets it go ice cold before stepping out.

His lack of foresight means he has nothing to put on when he gets out. He bangs his head against the wall in frustration. He wraps the towel tightly around his waist. In a moment of weakness he slips his mask back on, his wet hair soaking it almost instantly. He takes a deep breath and opens the door ready to make a run for his bedroom door. 

Two steps out the door and Wade is already laughing at him. 

“Please tell me you didn’t wear the mask in the shower.”

Peter turns to Wade, he’s on his hands and knees scrubbing at the floor. “Mask? What mask? This is just my face Wade.”

Wade throws back his head, his laughter growing louder. 

Peter uses the moment to escape to his room. Feeling foolish, he pulls the mask back off. He leans against the back of the door unsure of how to navigate this situation. A knock on the door makes him jump in surprise. 

“Do you want me to go?” Wade asks quietly through the door.

Even with how furious Peter feels, he doesn’t actually want Wade to leave. Despite everything he had fun today and enjoyed Wade’s weird surprise. It was very Wade. So Peter answers back with, “No.”

“Good, I wasn’t really going to leave anyways. You wanna open up or do I have to threaten to huff and puff and blow your door down?”

Peter can’t keep the smile off his face. “I’m not a pig.”

“But I am a wolf?”

“You're something alright,” Peter mutters. 

“You gonna open up?”

Peter cracks his door open a smidge to glare at Wade. It doesn’t even phase Wade who just smiles back at Peter.

“There’s that face,” Wade remarks. He pushes his way into the room, Peter doesn’t have the energy to fight him on it. 

Peter takes a step back from Wade and clutches at the towel at his hip. He really should have put some pants on. He feels exposed, especially with the way Wade is looking him over hungrily. The description of a wolf seems much more fitting now. 

“How long have we known each other?”

Peter gulps and takes another step back. “Six years, why?”

Wade advances forward, making Peter feel like the one who should be dressed as a bunny. “I tend to notice things and let’s just say my patience is running thin.” 

Peter squeaks when his back hits the wall. “Can’t imagine what you are talking about.”

Wade leans in, brushing his lips across Peter’s. It’s just a tease of a kiss before Wade is pulling back. Peter goes to follow but gets shoved back against the wall. 

“Get dressed so I can take you out on our Easter date,” Wade instructs before turning and walking to the door. He pauses outside Peter’s room and unzips his bunny suit to let it fall to the ground. Underneath he is wearing a navy buttoned down shirt and slacks. Peter can’t help but think he looks amazing. 

“Did you plan this?” Peter questions, mouth agape. 

Wade turns and winks at Peter. “Maybe. So, hop to it already.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. ❤︎❤︎❤︎


End file.
